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How to find your counselor identity

  • Writer: Bellamy Linneman
    Bellamy Linneman
  • Apr 23, 2023
  • 2 min read

Sans Buzzfeed quiz


Okay, for real though, why isn't there a Buzzfeed quiz to find your counselor identity? The results would probably look something like this:




Getting to know your (therapist) self

While I don't have a fun Buzzfeed quiz for you to take, I do have some questions that may help you figure out who you are as a therapist. I encourage you to write these out: type on your phone, put pen to paper, or even voice-to-text. The more you interact with these questions, the more you'll get out of them!

  1. What have I liked about the therapists I've had? (And if you haven't had one, get one!)

  2. During a session, do I find myself wishing I could just say or do XYZ? What's preventing me from saying or doing it?

  3. How do I communicate with the people in my life?

  4. Is it more important to process or to work toward solutions?

  5. How do I feel leaving sessions? Drained? Energetic? Confident? Unsure? Is how I'm showing up impacting the way I feel?

  6. What feedback am I getting from my clients? (Verbal and non-verbal)

  7. What do I value as a person?

  8. What do I value as a therapist?

  9. How does assigning "homework" between sessions fit in with my theoretical orientation? How does it fit in with my values as a counselor?

  10. Do I feel like a different person when I'm with clients versus when I'm with my friends?

Identity is a journey

If you're struggling with your therapist identity, these questions probably won't resolve that overnight, but they can be a good place to start. Notice what thoughts and feelings come up for you as you answer them - all of this is good information! I'm guessing there's some, maybe a lot, of shame in there (more on that in a future post). Create space for all of your feelings and process them with your people.


Speaking of your people, one of the best ways I started to figure out my own therapist identity was by noticing how I differed from others. I have friends who never interrupt their clients, while I will interrupt on occasion if it feels appropriate. Ask your therapist friends some of these questions and see how your answers compare. You may be surprised!


Ultimately, discovering your therapist identity will take time. Try to enjoy the process as much as possible and be kind to yourself!

Let me know your thoughts in the comments!

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